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Charisma on Command: Inspire, Impress, and Energize Everyone You Meet, by Charlie Houpert
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Have you ever encountered someone with magnetic charisma?
The type of person that you just immediately liked and trusted? That commanded respect without hardly uttering a word?
Maybe you've even felt something like it before....like everything you said was engaging and made people laugh. Like people were just drawn to you.
Do you want to know how to turn that personal magnetism on at a moment's notice?
Then this book is for you!
Charisma on Command will teach you how to tap into your charismatic potential so that you can turn it on whenever you want. It draws on analysis of the most charismatic people in the world, including Steve Jobs, Bill Clinton, Russell Brand, Oprah Winfrey, Martin Luther King, Tony Robbins, and more. You'll learn the mindsets, body language, and exercises that can make you the person others are drawn to. The type of person you might meet for a minute, but remember for a lifetime.
- Sales Rank: #46659 in eBooks
- Published on: 2014-08-20
- Released on: 2014-08-20
- Format: Kindle eBook
Most helpful customer reviews
38 of 38 people found the following review helpful.
This book's advice is more actionable, realistic, and faster to read for those serious about improving their social life.
By Janet Chang
Compared to other books on charisma on the market, this book is...
1. More actionable.
There is a 30-day action guide at the end, like a workout plan for your charisma skills.
2. More realistic and nuanced in its advice.
Not the typical "Make more eye contact!" quips, nor the vague Dale Carnegie advice on "Show interest in the other person by asking them questions"--the authors actually go into detail on crucial things you need to do before asking people about themselves, in order to have them actually care about giving good answers..
3. Easier and faster to read.
The book makes an important distinction between mindset (inside) vs. behavior (outside). If you have all the "right" behavior but you don't have the inner mindset to match it, people will notice the incongruence, and feel that it lacks in authenticity. For example, the first part detailed 12 Charismatic Convictions, all of which were related to mindset rather than behavior:
- I'm okay. I will be okay.
- I care more about my character than the opinions of others.
- I have impeccable integrity.
- Don't convince.
- Communicate your purpose.
- Break solemnity and be fun.
- Broach taboo topics.
- Demonstrate clear boundaries.
- Break down physical barriers.
- Be liberal with your praise.
- Let others know when you're nervous, pissed, or hurt.
- Reveal your flaws.
Only then is there discussion of outer behaviors to practice (body language, style of dress, conversational techniques). Things I started using immediately were:
- Eye contact, beyond the basics: How to make eye contact while coming across as "competent" and "confident", instead of "creepy" (the Bill Clinton "squint" vs. wide-eyed deer-in-headlights look).
- The 3 types of conversations (news, fun, values), and when it is appropriate to use each (except news--never fall into the "news" type of conversation)
- Answer the 3 most common questions in a way that hooks others' interest immediately ("How are you?", "Where are you from?", and "What do you do?")
The only thing that I wish was in the book is a walkthrough of how to lead and command in a group environment.
60 of 67 people found the following review helpful.
His Charismatic Examples are People Who Fail to Follow His Advice.
By V. Bede
The book starts off very strongly. The story about the Reddit founders and the author's personal story (marred, however, by the unnecessary detail that the girl who spurned him came back and he got to blow her off...though he did so because he feared being rejected again. Really?). It then tells the important non-verbal story of charisma at the start of chapter two. He continues going strong with his writing on the power of conviction. I was convinced I was going to give this book 5 stars. Then the wheels start coming off his wagon.
"You build conviction that you have impeccable integrity by living with impeccable integrity. ...You cut out lying. Even the little white lies. Even the lies of omission." p. 49. Two things. One of his foremost example of charisma is Bill Clinton (a charismatic person of the first order, but one who was not known for impeccable integrity--not telling lies of omission, etc.--even while he was undeniably charismatic). Second, I am not sure anyone living or breathing lives up to this standard.
Some of his advice about charismatic people seems fuzzy and tangential. How does being the first to bring up "taboo" topics like religion, politics, money or sex make you charismatic? I know a few people who do this and they are often viewed as annoying, socially inept, and not charismatic.
There are moments when he regains his footing and again offers sound advice, but I became much more wary of what he was writing because it seemed so spotty. His message lacks integrity and soundness. For example, after offering several pieces of good advice he recommends introducing people with a flattering headline. For example, "Meet Mary, the smartest person I know. Don't get mad if she makes you want to go home and study--I feel that way too!" p. 98. Gag me! If I was Mary I would probably punch "Mr. Charisma," and if I was being introduced to Mary I would probably say hi and then bye.
Ask yourself, does this sound true to your experience: "Eye contact while speaking is one of the most powerful and least used modes of communication." p. 102. Least used? What? My friends must all be aliens because we look into each others eyes when we talk.
Other advice, "Boom when you speak. ...Charismatic people are often louder than is comfortable than the rest of us." p. 129. To justify this recommendation he refers to friends of his. He does not use the example of Bill Clinton, whose voice is soft and whispery. Or that of other people he says are charismatic. Steve Jobs? The only time his voice boomed was when he was chewing out subordinates behind closed doors. In public he was soft spoken, enthusiastic but not loud. Same for Will Smith. Infectious smile, undeniable charisma, but I never think of Will as loud. Again, his primary examples fail to display what he considers to be charismatic.
When he finally gets to the 30 plan to become charismatic he really flies off the rails. Take day two, eye contact. Then day three smiling. Whoa Nellie! It can take weeks to change a single behavior. Behavior change is extremely difficult (try dieting or starting an exercise program). And you are going to knock off adopting two new behaviors in two days? Get real?
Where does this book fail? It seems to have been written by a young man who is on to something but has yet to grasp his subject completely. Perhaps by the fourth or fifth rewrite it will be worth four stars, and ten years from now, when he has truly grasped his subject, he will write a five-star book wherein his advice, and his examples of charismatic people, are in alignment.
17 of 18 people found the following review helpful.
A little about me... I have been ...
By Joey K
A little about me...
I have been doing self-help for about a year now and throughout the process I have been trying to find ways to become more charming and charismatic. After sifting through much work of Mark Manson, Corey Wayne, RSD, and a few others, I have found this book to really bring those small pieces I found together in one.
What you will get out of this book is really what you put in. You can read it and take no action and guess what you'll still be the same! However; after reading and applying the techniques I have noticed a change not only in myself but in the way people respond to me. Their eyes light up when I start to tell a story - they actually want to hear what I have to say.
All in all this book is worth your time and money. It definitely has improved the quality of my life and my interactions.
P.S. I'm a sucker for Charlie's writing style - it really draws me in ;)
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